Moonraker Skipper's Blog: LIKE A REALITY TV SHOW ONLY REAL

Here is the pitch for the latest survivor reality TV program.

Take two educated middle class couples who don’t know each other well. (Note to producer: select people successful in their own fields: we want every one of them to be a strong personality who is used to getting their own way.) Put them on an off-shore cruising yacht (not too luxurious) for 6 weeks, allowing them to get off only occasionally, and then only via a small unstable inflatable dinghy. Send them off-shore, making sure there are plenty of challenges like storms, tempests and gear failure. (Note to producer: make sure they can sail so they don’t kill themselves accidently by running aground or sinking...don’t want to have to close the show early.) Make the surroundings at landfall exotic so that the viewer has something to look at. But also make sure they are denied access to phone, fax, email, public transport, shops, newspapers or any of the normal trappings of life. Don’t want them to be able to ease the pain or bail out of the show early. Limit their fresh water intake to a few litres a day. Limit their food supplies so they have to live partly off the land. At the end of each half-hour show each week, hand out a gong for the ‘best survivor’:

The only catch is that it was not reality TV. It was reality. And here are the Best Survivor Awards and who won them.

Best Fixer Award to Andy
She's a whizz with a screw driver and a spanner. And she's gutsy.
For being prepared to have a go at anything that wasn't working,
of which there were many items, including inter alia: anchor winchs, water proofing
of the hatch of her cabin, auto helm.

Best Athlete to Dean
For holding the side up.
Dean was the best ever goalie in the Rally Fleet Soccer side,
which played the under 9s at Nimowa and nearly won. Roger in
the background too.

Best Diplomat Award: Dean
For being at his social most charming in all the formalities. See..

Those years in Canberra weren't wasted.

Best Provider Award: Andy
Dirty job?... Live off the land? No worries.

Best Dressed Award: Dean and Sandra
Joint winners for keeping sartorial standards up. As long as you have a good hat and a nice pair of shoes you can go anywhere.

Engineering Award: Dean
He could see imediately that the tank was higher than the roof.

Always Looking on the Bright Side Award: Roger
Its true that he can uncannily predict any disaster, even those
that don't happen. But he can also recognise a good thing
when it turns up too.

Meta-tourism Award: Dean
Dean took the photo of the rally crew taking a photo of
the fleet with locals in the foreground.

Strong Stomach Award: Andy
She's in there for another feed of boiled sweet potato.

Smaultz Award: Dean
"Sandra.. just take this photo. She will be so disappointed
if we don't. " We got this beautiful hamper in exchange for
a few bits and pieces. Theft.